What are the benefits of friends?
The isolation is real Y’all!
Do you get text like this…. “Hey, how are you doing?”, does this question give you anxiety. How can I possibly tell you in less that 6oo words how I am feeling. Does this feel farmiliar? Well, it sure does for me. I have noticed now that some of my friendships feel so impersonal because of text. I hate texting! I hate hate hate it!
We are creatures who need connection in order to thrive and feel like we are a part of the the world. If this feels true for you I recommend doing something that no one does anymore. Use your cell phone to call people. WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASHLEY! I know this seems crazy but it really helps. Friendships can have a major impact on your health and well-being, but it's not always easy to build or maintain friendships. Understand the importance of friendships in your life and what you can do to develop and nurture friendships.
What are the benefits of friendships?
Good friends are essential for your health! Friends can help you celebrate the ups and provide support during downs. They prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. Friends can also:
Increase your sense of belonging and purpose in this wild and crazy world
Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
Decreases levels of the stress hormone…cortisol
Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
Help you cope with the traumas in life like breakups, illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
Friends also play a significant role in promoting your overall health. People with a strong social support have a reduced risk of a boat load of significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI). I bring up the BMI because when I hide form the world I soothe myself in other ways at that typically involves a bag of Cheetos and pint of Vegan Ben and Jerry’s Caramel Brittle. Studies have even found that older adults with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections. #themoreyouknow
But WHY is it so hard to make friends or maintain friendships?
Cause life is hard and as we get older we find it harder to develop new friendships or keep up existing friendships. Friendships may take a back seat to other priorities, such as work or relationships or caring for children or aging parents. You and your friends may have grown apart due to changes in your lives or interests. Or maybe you've moved to a new community and haven't yet found a way to meet people.
Developing and maintaining good friendships takes effort. The enjoyment and comfort friendship can provide, however, makes the investment double.
How many friends do I actually need?
Well, give me quality over quantity any day of the week! While it's good to cultivate a diverse network of friends and acquaintances, you also want to nurture a few truly close friends who will be there for you through thick and thin.
How the heck do I meet new people?
It's possible that you've overlooked potential friends who are already in your social network. Think through people you've interacted with — even very casually — who made a positive impression.
You may find potential friends among people with whom:
You've worked or taken classes
You've been friends in the past, but have since lost touch
You've enjoyed chatting with at social gatherings
You can try:
Attend online community events. Look for groups or clubs that gather around an interest or hobby you share. Do a Google search using terms such as [your city] + social network, or [your neighborhood] + meet-ups.
Volunteer. Offer your time or talents at a hospital, place of worship, museum, community center, charitable group or other organization. You can form strong connections when you work with people who have mutual interests.
Extend and accept invitations. Invite a friend to join you for coffee or lunch. When you're invited to a social gathering, say yes. Contact someone who recently invited you to an activity and return the favor.
Take up a new interest. Take a college or community education course to meet people who have similar interests.
Join a faith community. Take advantage of special activities and get-to-know-you events for new members.
Take a walk. Grab your mask and get out of the house. Stay 6 feet but talking to strangers in a public setting if you feel comfortable can be some of the best conversations you will ever have.
Above all, stay positive. You may not become friends with everyone you meet, but maintaining a friendly attitude and demeanor can help you improve the relationships in your life and sow the seeds of friendship with new acquaintances.
Can I really make friends on social media?
Sure, you can totally find like minded individuals to chat with and communities to help you make or maintain connections and relieve the loneliness of the world. However, research suggests that use of social networking sites doesn't necessarily translate to a larger offline network or closer offline relationships with network members. In addition, remember to exercise caution when sharing personal information or arranging an activity with someone you've only met online.
How can I nurture my friendships?
Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give-and-take. Sometimes you're the one giving support, and other times you're on the receiving end. Letting friends know you care about them and appreciate them can help strengthen your bond. It's as important for you to be a good friend as it is to surround yourself with good friends.
To nurture your friendships:
Be kind. This most-basic behavior, emphasized during childhood, remains the core of successful, adult relationships. Think of friendship as an emotional bank account. Every act of kindness and every expression of gratitude are deposits into this account, while criticism and negativity draw down the account.
Listen up. Ask what's going on in your friends' lives. Let the other person know you are paying close attention through eye contact, body language and occasional brief comments such as, "That sounds fun." When friends share details of hard times or difficult experiences, be empathetic, but don't give advice unless your friends ask for it.
Open up. Build intimacy with your friends by opening up about yourself. Being willing to disclose personal experiences and concerns shows that your friend holds a special place in your life, and deepens your connection.
Show that you can be trusted. Being responsible, reliable and dependable is key to forming strong friendships. Keep your engagements and arrive on time. Follow through on commitments you've made to your friends. When your friends share confidential information, keep it private.
Make yourself available. Building a close friendship takes time — together. Make an effort to see new friends regularly, and to check in with them in between meet-ups. You may feel awkward the first few times you talk on the phone or get together, but this feeling is likely to pass as you get more comfortable with each other.
Manage them nerves with mindfulness. Using mindfulness exercises can reshape your thinking. That’s legit and real! Each time you imagine the worst, pay attention to how often the embarrassing situations you're afraid of actually take place. You may notice that the scenarios you fear usually don't happen. So, don’t give the negativity your energy!
When embarrassing situations do happen, remind yourself that your feelings will pass, and you can handle them until they do.
Yoga and other mind-body relaxation practices also may reduce anxiety and help you face situations that make you feel nervous.
Remember, it's never too late to build new friendships or reconnect with old ones. Investing time in making friends and strengthening your friendships can pay off in better health and a brighter outlook for years to come.
